//Back.
So a good friend reminded me today that i havent been on tumblr in quite a few months, i realised he was right and so as of today im back posting about my boring life. just took a trip down memory lane and went through ALL of my previous post and realised what an idiot i have been and what an idiot i was. In the process of deleting some pretty inappropriate pictures i’ve taken in the past, i realised that all of my thoughts this time last year revolved around lust. Not just with Lawrence but in general, i wanted to feel beautiful and loved and therefore perused it however possible. It made me remember who i am now and who GOD really wants me to be. Obviously not filled with a jealous lust. That is not who i am.
So ive had an interesting few months, split up with someone who i really cared about. I know how much i cared about him and looking back on my previous tumblr posts i was positive i was in love with him. He will always be the boy who taught me to fall in love. But im not sure that my love for him was complete, i guess only complete love happens when you decide that you should spend the rest of your life together, Lawrence wasn’t that. But i promise you lawrence that i will never forget what we had, even if it wasnt necessarily right it was still special. Thank you for teaching me so much. Without you i would not be where i am today. And judging by tumblr, im better for it.
So ive also been reminded about what God has in store for me and its SUPER exciting if not slightly terrifying. Another thing my friend said to me today (he was feeling kinda philosophical (; ) was that he was excited for the future and how its going to be hard, and scary but that Gods got his life and he’s ready to dive in. We were speaking about marriage today -SCARY- and it made me really happy. I know that sounds stupid and i know most people would say i shouldn’t be thinking about marriage yet, but for so long ive been worried that when it came down to it, no one would WANT to marry me. But today got me thinking and i realsie that actually whether i get married or not, God has a terrific plan for my life. (Also im pretty sure that involves getting married -YAY-)
So im going to TRY and post more (no promises) and i know people don’t really read this but i like to write about my life anyway, its relieving in some way or another :)
TATAR FOR NOW KIDS!
